Sunday, February 26

"So Let Go & Jump In"


I have started and deleted and restarted and forgotten more blogs in the past ten years of my life - since blogging became a fad - than I care to recall. But something (the need to write?) continues to drag me back, sometimes kicking and screaming, but always ready to try once again the daunting task of committing my thoughts to...well, not to paper exactly, but something close. Writing my thoughts, feelings, experiences down and then sending them flying out for anyone and everyone to critique is not for the faint of heart. Once you state an opinion, it can be challenged. Once you express a dream, it can be argued with. But it has been over a year since I last tried to keep a steady online "diary" of sorts and I've learned a lot in the past year. So, perhaps it is time to jump on this merry-go-round again. To share my experiences and thoughts and feelings and dreams and expectations with the world. (Which if you think about it is very conceited, to think that your feelings and thoughts are of any interest at all to anyone else in the world. But we continue to do it and someone, somewhere is interested, which just feeds that pride and makes us more willing to write and pretty soon everyone cares about what you say and you are a billionaire, all because you decided to write down your personal feelings publicly. At least that has happened to a handful of people and we all hope we will be the next to be discovered.) I don't know if I will continue to keep up with this; I don't have a good track record of keeping up this sort of blog (minus my very long-lived Xanga blog). I don't know if anyone will read what I write. But I guess it doesn't hurt to try, and if nothing else at least it will be interesting for me to look back on in five years, to remember how at 24 I thought I knew what was up. The same way I look back at my posts from when I was 20. But isn't that how life goes? You can't learn until you make mistakes, you can't lose your pride until you realize you have absolutely nothing to be conceited about. I don't know if anything I've written is making sense to anyone at all, but that's cool to. I really don't mind. As Elie Wiesel said, "I write to understand as much as to be understood."

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