Dare to Give Up

Sometimes it is okay to give up.

I know, this goes against everything we've ever been taught since we were old enough to try to roll over on our own. If you type "give up" into a search engine, the list of inspirational quotes is staggering. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." "When you think about quitting, remember why you started." "If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up." Sound familiar?

It takes courage to hold on and to keep trying, it takes a different type of courage to let go. Remember Einstein said: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Insanity is holding onto a sinking ship and expecting that your body weight alone will keep the ocean from claiming it. Sometimes the better course of action is to simply say that you have had enough and walk away.

If you know me at all, you know I am an extremely loyal person. I don't stay mad for long and I try to rationalize away the actions of others. I hold on long after others have shaken their head. Recently I gave up on a friendship. I realized that continuing to hold on was hurting me a great deal more than it was helping the situation. It hurt to walk away. It hurt more than I can say. I still love this person dearly and somewhere deep in my heart I will hold on to the belief that someday we can work through the hell that drove us apart and be the friends we once were (What? I told you I was loyal!). But this is not someday and we don't live in a Disney movie.

Walking away takes different forms for different folks. For me it meant deleting ways to contact them and announcing out loud my intentions. For others it may be a deliberate attempt to think of other things, changing daily habits, asking a friend for help in carrying through with your plan, or starting a new hobby or activity.

Now, I am not suggesting that as soon as things get rough, you bail. Please don't hear that at all. In the microwave generation of instant everything, not giving up is a very valuable lesson. But never giving up in any situation is detrimental to someone's personal, mental, and emotional well being.

So, remember: Sometimes it is okay to give up.